


There's some witches in this house

by Anthony_is_tired



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Belos is no more, Crack Fic, F/F, Gus is traumatized tho, Hooty is vibing, King is asleep in eda's hair dont worry, One-Shot, Rip gus, Slice of Life, im high, im the worst, they're like 18 or sumn, was listening to wap on loop while doing schoolwork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:55:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27399103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anthony_is_tired/pseuds/Anthony_is_tired
Summary: Luz makes the gang listen to wap----------One-shot, foul language, nothing rated r happens i swear. also my school work has officially killed mepart 3 is out nice
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda (minor), Boscha/Willow Park(minor)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> kill me

“Excuse me, what the  _ fuck _ ?”

Luz was practically howling in laughter as the music blast through the house. Willow sat silently on the couch, Gus looking mortified, Eda laughing along with Luz, Lilith with her mouth agape, Boscha stifling her laughs, and Amity staring at her girlfriend in surprise. 

“W-what’s wrong, ami?” Amity, mouth still agape, dramatically pointed towards the speaker which was blasting out music.

_ “ _ _ I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp _

_ I wanna gag, I wanna choke _

_ I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing _

_ That swing in the back of my throat” _

Then lilith stood up

“STOP! STOP THIS ATROCIOUS MUSIC! I DID NOT JUST SURVIVE A WAR JUST TO HEAR.. _ THIS _ !!”

Eda banged her arm on the table, wheezing so hard she might start choking. Boscha herself was full-on laughing while Luz was rolling on the floor. "So this is what human music is? and this is on number one?" Boscha asked rhetorically, earning a chuckle from the latina

“My poor ears...” Gus muttered, skin as pale as if he saw a ghost. Willow sighed as she stood up and tugged Gus.

“Yeah, no, we’re leaving” Amity turned to follow “Im coming too” she muttered, face red, making Luz laugh even more.

“W-wait! D- _ wheeze _ don’t leave!” She cleared her throat as she stood up “Dont- _ snicker _ leave”

Amity and willow shared a look, almost as if they were considering it.

“ _ Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes _

_ Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheating” _

“Yeah no we’re leaving.”

Passing Hooty who was dancing along to the beat, they left with Gus in tow making the three women laugh even more whilst the oldest Clawthorne lost her mind


	2. Part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YES THERES A PART TWO

_**YES this has a part two. Why you may ask? I listen to wap while playing outlasters with my friends and sometimes I sing the lyrics so I have more reactions people could have to wap! Also because I'm a little shit and I do this to spite people so they can hate me but not as much as I hate myself <3** _

_**Enjoy, simps, I shall make everyone SUFFER and SUFFER with their healthy health** _

"WET ASS PUSSY, MAKE THAT PULL-OUT GAME W E A K!" 

Luz doubled over laughing as Edric sang along to the song. Emira and Viney, being the lesbians that they are, nodded because there's nothing better than wet ass pussy. 

Aside from a really good book

"Why did you do this?" Amity asked, clearly annoyed. Luz turns to her with a huge smile

"Why not?" 

".... Why though."

Luz laughs once again as the song continued to play. Jerbo stood to the side as he watched his boyfriend make a fool of himself. 

"This is what we get for being moronsexuals huh."

Viney and Amity nodded to this statement, Emira looked at Viney in shock while Luz and Edric continued to vibe

"YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH YOU FUCKING WITH SOME WET ASS PUSSY" Luz sang along, everyone in the room gasped

"Did she just.."

Noticing everyone staring at her shocked, Luz realized what was happening "Maldita sea not again.." 

Amity then stood up abruptly

"LISTEN UP LUZ NOCEDA, YOU MAY PLAY AS MANY NON-CHILD FRIENDLY SONGS YOU WANT ALL DAY, BUT YOU SWEARING CROSSES THE LINE!" 

"But i-" 

"No buts young lady!" Viney scolded. "How dare you speak in such foul language!" 

Emira then faked crying into Viney's shoulder "Our cinnamon roll! What happened to her!" 

"Who the fuck taught you how to say this shit?!" Edric angrily asked. 

"Yes! This is unacceptable!" Jerbo crossed his arms

Luz smacked her forehead as everyone scolded her. 

"Guys, please, I'm old enough to swear!" 

Edric narrowed his eyes at her

"Do you know how to fix a carraige?" 

"No, but-" 

"Then you are not allowed to swear!" 

"WHAT DO CARRAIGES HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!" 

"Luz Noceda did you just raise your voice at Edric?!" Jerbo gasped mockingly. Edric clutched his chest feigning hurt 

"Betrayal! This is not Luz Noceda, who are you and what have you done to our human!" 

"I cannot believe this has happened, I will have to report your behavior to Eda!" Amity deadpanned. 

Luz sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose "God fucking damn it.."

"LANGUAGE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment who else you want to listen to this shit


	3. Chapter 3: Emperor's coven?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow im alive

**Wow. how long have i been gone?? Like.. 2-3 months??? Hah, sorry school sucks, and in the end it didn’t matter cuz i got four failing marks. But before i continue trying to get extra credit, here’s another chapter of this crackfic because i have nothing else to do with my life.**

**Someone suggested doing this to the emperor’s coven, but this being set in the time after Belos was defeated, i'm just gonna do it with people who still think Belos was in the right, even though they’d already lost. Does that make sense? Meh does it really matter? Anyways, enjoy!**

**This is actually kinda sad because Here we follow through with Steve’s perspective, yes he might be OOC but i think he’d have lost a lot due to helping belos, (but i do have an au where he actually HELPED the revolution which is coming out soon!) and i think that would’ve took a toll on him.**

Steve yawned as he adjusted to the sunlight peeking through his window.

He listened to the sound of leaves rustling, and footsteps around camp. The others have woken up, no doubt.

He sighed as he continued to lay in bed, unmoving. It was like this everyday, ever since Belos’ reign ended, Steve didn't really know what to do. He had to admit, when the war started he did start doubting his emperor, but still, he stood his ground next to him. So lo and behold, when the emperor went down he had lost a lot. The small group of friends he managed to gain while working for Belos, had either died tragically in the war or had ran away. Then, after the revolutionaries took over the castle, he and the other surviving guards had to live somewhere else. Which was a crummy space near a lake. They’d set base there, Setting up huts and tents. and if it wasn't for the beautiful view, he would’ve left this camp.

With a sigh, he ran his hands through his hair, though he still respects belos, he had decided to get rid of his mask, it was really annoying to wear after all.

Slowly, He started to get up from his makeshift bed to see what’s for breakfast. ‘ _ Fish and berries again, probably. _ ’ He thought with a sigh. They were low on rations after the battle and had to resort to collecting berries from the woods and fishing. And if they were lucky, they would manage to buy some vegetables. They were practically living in poverty.

“You’d think we’d have been more prepared..” he thought aloud, staring blankly at his hut’s door He shook his head sadly “This blows. A lot.”

Suddenly, He could hear something from afar. He heard laughter from outside and… music? He lifted his head as he stared at his door curiously “What the..”

He cautiously made his way to the door, opening it with a slight  _ creak  _ And couldn’t believe the sight before him.

\---------------------------------------------

“YEAHHH! SUCK IT LOYALISTS!” Luz yelled as she rested the speaker on her shoulder. WAP once again playing on full volume, why? to spite the loyalists ofcourse.

“ _ Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker _

_ I need a Henny drinker, I need a weed smoker _ ”

“I don't think this is a good idea, Luz..” Amity warned, catching up to the girl on her staff. 

“D'aww lighten up Amy! We’re just messing with them! Right, Ed and Em?” She directed the last part to the two green haired twins, riding on separate staffs.

“You betcha!” Ed perked up “‘sides mittens, it's just a little payback!” 

“Yeah Mittens!” Em said from behind his twin “We’re not doing them any harm, just…” He paused, looking down at the loyalists angrily staring up at them “Sharing some music!” She finished with a coy smile

Amity sighed as she knew she was outnumbered, and they were already here, there's no going back now. “Fine, but if they end up chasing us, I'm letting Eda know I had no part in this.” Luz snickered at this. “As if she’d be mad? Heck, she’d even join if she had the chance!”

“Perhaps.. You are right, but my point still stands.” She admitted quietly to her girlfriend, who just laughed and continued to raise the volume of her speaker.

_ “ _ _ Pussy A1, just like his credit _

_ He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it _

_ I let him taste it, now he diabetic” _

  
  


“Damn revolutionaries!” One of the loyalists yelled as they shook their fist. “Get off our turf!”

“Nah! We’re good!” Em yelled back. Making her companions with the exception of Amity laugh.

“Thats it!” The loyalist exclaimed, picking up what seems to be their staff. “Get them!”

“Uh-oh.” Luz’s eyes widened. Amity groaned. “We gotta go!”

The 4 turned around as they flew off, music still blasting through the whole way.

“Get back here!”

\----------------------------------------------

Steve watched as the four of them flew away, with the other loyalists hot on their tail. He could hear the auburn haired one with green hair fade yell ‘I told you so!’ Over the music. Steve slowly shut his door and laid face-first on his bed.

‘That’s enough for today..’ he thought before drifting off to a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i..regret nothing


End file.
